Posts Tagged ‘middle age’

Bucket List: not just a New Year’s Resolution

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

New Year’s Resolutions, Bucket Lists, and Other Ways to Live Your Best Life

by Dr. Len Kayes, guest writer in MAINE SENIORS Magazine

The 2007 film The Bucket List portrays two terminally ill men, Edward Cole and Carter Chambers (played by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, respectively) who escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of “to-dos” before they die. Included in their list was skydiving, driving a race car, flying over the North Pole, riding motorcycles on the Great Wall of China, and going on a lion safari in Africa. This touching comedy/drama reminds us that there is much that can be accomplished in life regardless of our age or health status and striving to have new experiences before we die can be exceedingly satisfying and meaningful.

Call it what you like — a set of New Year’s resolutions, a bucket list of hopes and dreams, or a life list of goals and objectives — reaching out for new experiences can represent an exciting road map for achieving your best life. And, let there be no doubt about it – it is never too late to develop and enact such a plan. The arrival of 2012 represents a great time to plan your future, whatever your age.

Marelisa Fabrega, the author of How to Live Your Best Life, tells us that a life list is simply a set of goals which cover all the different areas of your life. Taken seriously, it can represent a powerful tool for making sure that you decide what you want to do and have in life, and who you want to be, and that you take the necessary action to accomplish these things.

Remember that bucket lists are not just for those in the latter stages of life. While bucket lists are meant to contain accomplishments that you want to achieve before you “kick the bucket”, you can build your list as early in your life as you choose. Everyone, regardless of age, deserves to have aspirations, hopes, and dreams yet to be realized but consistently sought after. Walt Disney put it well when he said “all our dreams can come true—if we have the courage to pursue them.”

Prudence Searl, 63, of Bangor has a bucket list – she wants to tour the western United States and see the Grand Canyon. She also wants to go to Florida one day and drive down one side of the state and up the other visiting the many friends she has living there…then return to Disney World along the way. She wants to do it in a new Toyota Camry, also on her bucket list.

Sara Dimmick, 65, of Augusta also has a bucket list. She tells me she would like to visit the pyramids in Egypt, travel to Australia, learn about other religions, and become proficient in a language other than her own – probably Spanish.

And, so does Frank Ober, 69, of Whitefield. Frank considers his bucket list to be a “to- do” list which tends to include various projects that “need” to get done or “have” to be done and are not necessarily projects that he “wants” to do. Included on his list was painting the garage floor (already accomplished), and building a sunroom and both refurbishing and expanding the deck that is attached to his house (yet to be accomplished). He checks his list regularly and he says it helps to keep him focused.

It seems that a lot of people tend to have various life goals that fall into one or more of the following categories. These may serve as a useful guide for readers to organize their own personal bucket lists:

*Adventure
*Career
*Entertainment
*Family
*Finances/Money
*Friends/Friendships
*Fun
*Health
*Hobbies
*Home
*Learning/Education
*Love/Love Life
*Marriage
*Relationships
*Self-improvement
*Spiritual Life
*Sports
*Travel

Here are a few suggestions to consider when developing your own bucket list:

  • Make sure that your list contains things that YOU really want to accomplish, obtain, or do. Don’t be influenced by the opinions of others. After all, it is YOUR list so let it contain things you want to have, things you want to do, things you want to be, places you want to visit, and people you want to meet. It should be about what you find meaningful and what brings you joy.
  • Even though the list is yours doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t share it with others. Go public with it. Doing so can give you additional motivation and incentive to pursue the items on the list. And, those you share your dreams with may be able to help you achieve them by offering helpful words of advice. Research actually suggests that success in reaching your goals is more likely when your goals are made public and support is received from friends. You may also discover along the way that your dreams are held by others and that pursuing them can become a joint venture.
  • Try to include some far reaching or longer term goals as well as some that are probably more easily attainable in the short term. The things you want should be a mix of both exceedingly challenging as well as more attainable accomplishments. Also, it is OK to think big, be creative, and go outside your comfort zone. If what you want is to lose weight, exercise more, and eat healthier, that is fine but don’t be afraid to reach beyond the usual resolutions–that are too often broken before the first week has passed.
  • Remember, and this is very important, don’t waste time creating your personalized bucket list if you don’t intend to take the actions required to achieve the items on it. Being engaged in goal setting, including keeping track of small but measurable progress toward reaching your goal, is helpful as well. Ultimately, however, whether you succeed or not may be less important than being able to honestly say you tried. And, maintaining a life list, even though you eventually are unable to achieve all that you set out to accomplish, in and of itself is a sign of an active mind, a vibrant spirit, and a motivated and positive thinker. It can help give you continued meaning, purpose, structure, identity, and direction in life as you grow older.

We have one precious life to live – be it resolved that in 2012 and beyond that we will live it well – with purpose and identifiable goals that we aspire to achieve.

Maine Home Care: knowing when to get help at home

Saturday, November 12th, 2011

Knowing When to Get Help

Richard Blumenthal, President, Advantage Home Care LLC 

As we age and physical changes occur, we or someone we love may not be able to effectively deal with these changes. Some activities of daily living may become challenging.  Sooner or later we start wondering, “When should I look for help?”

The good news is, we don’t have to guess. There are common indicators that show us that help is needed. We don’t need to wait for a crisis situation to occur, in fact, the goal is to avoid the crisis, for everyone’s benefit. Signs that indicate help is needed:

1. Physical Condition: A diagnoses of a medical condition that affects daily living- such as  dressing, grooming, shaving, toileting, eating.

2. Personal Care: Baths/showers taken irregularly; body odor; teeth and hair not washed or brushed regularly. If incontinence products are worn, are they changed regularly and correctly?

3. Driving: Driving is difficult, uncertain or scary; reflexes and decision are slowed; new dings, dents or scratches on vehicles.

4. Nutrition: A change in weight; eating not happening regularly or nutritiously; the refrigerator doesn’t have a variety of foods; the food have outdated expiration dates; there is spoiled food in the refrigerator or on the counters.

5. Household Tasks: Household chores such as dusting, laundry, vacuuming, bed linens changed irregularly; household chores have become frustrating, physically demanding, or time consuming.

6. Socialization: Frequent moods of loneliness, despair, depression, frustration, irritability, or anxiety; fear or insecurity about going out of the house.

7. Mental Health: Memory lapses; difficulty finding the right words; inconsistency between words and action; anxiety or moodiness.

8. Medication: Medications not taken regularly or on time; medications not refilled on schedule; lack of understanding about purpose of medications.

9. Finances, Mail, Paperwork: Difficulty managing a checkbook, finances, bills and personal affairs; past due notices arriving; mail piling up; no cash on hand; important documents or similar items like purses, wallets and keys being misplaced frequently, for long periods of time or appearing in unusual places.

10. Safety, Security and Sanitation: Appliances such as the stove or coffee pot left on; falling asleep with cigarettes burning; house to hot or cold or always unlocked; a fall or multiple falls have occurred; clutter on the floor; trash piling up in or around the house; evidence of pet debris.

If you have a concern with even one set of indicators, it’s time to learn more about its cause and available options. Speaking openly, calmly, and honestly with your family and/or physician about the issue can help figure out the type of assistance needed.

Family members should keep their efforts as informal as possible, making observations through normal, casual interaction and making mental notes about anything of concern. The ultimate goal is to respect the senior’s wishes while assisting them with their needs.

AARP: life reimagined

Wednesday, September 28th, 2011

One of my take-aways from the Life@50+ AARP conference I recently attended in Los Angeles came from Chris Gardner’s talk. He is the author of the autobiographical “The Persuit of Happyness” and an advocate for reimagining your life. (His book was turned into a successful movie starring Will Smith. One basic script change: in the movie, the little boy is 6 when Chris Gardner becomes homeless and lives with the child in train station restrooms. In real life, the boy was only 14 months old when Chris started his climb into success as a financial planner.)

He was speaking to an audience of people nearing or in retirement who wanted to consider starting a business, going into a different career or just doing something more positive or different with their lives. “Life reimagined,” says Chris, “starts with recognizing that you can do something about your situation. Don’t let someone else tell you what you can’t do!”

Life Reimagined is the theme of the Life Reimagined Project, a special on-line community that encourages people to share their dreams and challenges. 

The key is recognizing that your skills, talents and experience are transferable. “We’re all going to fall, and that’s life. When you get up — that’s life ReImagined. You don’t have to reinvent yourself. Build on the gifts, passions and values you already have.”

I liked his message of viewing the situation from as many perspectives as you can, and then claiming action and doing something to move forward towards your goal. He advocated a 5 C plan of action (clear, concise, compelling, consistent and committed) that made use of even baby steps, as long as you are moving in the right direction!

AARP Names Portland, Maine a “Best Place to Live”

Friday, July 29th, 2011

I just got my September/October issue of AARP Magazine. While overlooking the fact that it’s July 29 and I felt deeply resentful that AARP was rushing my summer away, I paged through and discovered that Portland, Maine, has made the top ten list of  Best Places 2011

I really like Portland, so I’m OK with that. But then the articles starts with “Cheap housing, affordable tax rates, low cost of living: These cities are a bargain – and you can’t beat the lifestyle.” It goes on to list the cities (five in the magazine and the other five included in the expanded on-line version) and I discover that, even in this short list, Portland has the highest median housing costs ($202,800) often by $50,000 or so.   Try as I might, I can’t put that in the “cheap housing” category, especially since I have found very few houses that are even that low in the Greater Portland area.

We’re witnessing a conundrum. There’s a housing slump all over the US. If you CAN sell your house, you’re probably not getting top dollar for it. And then you decide to move to Portland, where the median house cost is almost certainly higher than where you came from. So is the cost of electricty. And wait….food costs aren’t any cheaper, either.

I think you should move to Maine, but you need to do it because you love the particular town or the whole darn state. You enjoy the slightly-slower pace, the fabulous turn of seasons, the opportunity to immerse yourself in nature even in our biggest city. You like the first rate museum in Portland, the great theater in Monmouth, the wonderful skiing in Kingfield and the immense fields and forests near Presque Isle. But in my opinion, you certainly can’t move here thinking you’re getting a bargain, unless you’re coming from a Big City. Then, I suppose, housing will seem like a deal.

What do you think?  Do you see Portland, or any other town in Maine, as a bargain spot for retirees?What’s your story? Let me know if you really found the Good Life for Less, as AARP writes, and I’ll share your experiences with others.  Thanks!  Deborah McLean, dmclean@maineseniorguide.com

 

10 Tips to Help Seniors Communicate with Their Boomer Children: Tips 1-3

Monday, June 13th, 2011

These tips are taken from the 70/40 Rule,  a small and engaging booklet about communication sponsored by Home Instead Senior Care.  Here are tips 1-3. 

1. Be Assertive….There will be situations where people talk to you in ways that are inappropriate. You may be patronized, put down or abused, even by family members. Assertiveness involves figuring out what you need in a specific situation, stating that clearly and definitively so that the other person can’t fail to understand. Then don’t allow the conversation to be sidetracked onto other issues.

2….Not Aggressive. Aggressive communication includes negative personal attacks on the other person as well as insults. Even if they make you feel good, these attacks are unlikely to be helpful and will probably just reinforace someone else’s negative perception of you. When the focus becomes the other person, you’ve lost the ability to talk about what you want to talk about.

3. Be Selective. Pick your battles. In some circumstances it may be easier to walk away or go along with something. You can’t fight every battle or you’ll exhaust yourself and alienate those around you. Save the assertive behavior for the situations where it is most important; that will also make it more effective.

You can find tips 4-6 here! Or look at tips 7-10 here!

Maine Retirement Living:alternative home buying options

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

photo: Glencroft Dollhouses

Are you trying to downsize but worried about either selling your house or getting a mortgage for that new condo? Yarmouth Community Services is hosting a class Wednesday night, 6-8 p.m., at Yarmouth High School, on financing options, creative down payments, retirement benefits, and other topics. Sponsored by Dick Sproul, GRI, SRES (Senior Real Estate Specialist) of Allen & Selig Realty, you’ll also get to quiz Lew emery of Dover Mortgage and Terri Wright of State Farm Insurance on aspects of the home buying/selling experience.


Reverse Mortgages, Home Equity:Options for baby boomers and seniors in a tough economy

Friday, March 11th, 2011

By Andrew C. Helman, Bernstein Shur, Counselors at Law

Using home equity as a financial resource

As another year of anemic economic activity ends, seniors and baby boomers have an opportunity to consider whether it’s time to try to convert locked-up home equity into cash for current expenses. Many seniors will make this decision at a time when the economic downturn has sapped retirement savings and forced a juggling act among food, medical and housing costs. These same challenges are right around the corner for many baby boomers.

While the vast majority of seniors’ wealth is tied up in their homes – an asset that tends not to produce any income – there are ways to free locked-up home equity. But with each option, there are significant trade-offs that could impact short-term cash-flow needs, long-term tax and wealth transfer objectives, as well as Medicaid eligibility.

man and golden retriever on doorstepFor example, the most obvious option is for baby boomers or seniors to sell their home in order to live off of freed-up home equity and savings resulting from eliminating housing-related maintenance costs. But these days, there’s a lot of risk associated with investing in financial markets, and there’s no guaranteed reward.

Here in Maine, the median sale price for single-family homes in 2008 was $178,000, and the average monthly rent for a two bedroom apartment in the same year was $846.95 according to U.S. Census data maintained by the State Planning Office. The numbers increase when limited to wealthier parts of the state, like Cumberland County, where the median home price in 2008 was $225,000, and the median price for a two bedroom apartment rental was $1,031, according to the same Census Data.

Setting aside transaction costs associated with selling a home and investing the proceeds, the numbers may not work for those who also want to save some of that wealth to leave as a gift for the next generation. Both seniors and baby boomers have a low risk tolerance for investments due to a short time horizon. They are unlikely to be able to generate enough money to cover the rent. Assuming a senior or baby boomer could earn 3 percent from relatively safe investments, their earnings would translate into $445 per month from proceeds of a sale at the statewide average price, or $562.50 for revenue generated from an average sale in Cumberland County. In both instances, that would still leave almost 50 percent of the rent unpaid.

For those seniors not interested in or able to worry about passing on any substantial wealth, selling the home early and moving to a rental could be a good option because freed-up equity could cover rent for many years, even without investing the sale proceeds. Plus, there’s the added benefit of eliminating housing maintenance costs, though it is always worth considering whether rent includes expenses like heating, electricity and snow removal.

Another alternative to consider is a sale-leaseback transaction. The basic idea is that a homeowner sells the house to an investor, usually a family member, who then leases the home back to the original homeowner under a lifetime lease agreement. Typically, the owner/seller will get a down payment from the buyer, followed by monthly payments from the buyer. These payments may cancel out rental payments that the former owner may make. Essentially, a sale-leaseback allows a homeowner to finance a sale and generate some cash, while staying in his or her home.

There are some potential pitfalls to this arrangement. For starters, these transactions can be complicated and often require the assistance of legal counsel. Additionally, it can be tough to navigate a new set of relationships among family members when children turn into investors in their parents’ homes. The buyer then becomes responsible for home maintenance, and it is not always easy to be responsible for maintaining more than one home. However, for those seniors with strong relationships with their children or family members, a sale-leaseback may be a good option.

There are two other viable options for seniors with close family relationships – retaining a life estate or obtaining a support mortgage. A life estate is a legal term for the right to occupy and possess a piece of property for the rest of a person’s life. It also includes a set plan for who gets the property at death – which is known as a remainder interest.

A remainder interest is generally not worth as much as the full market value of a property because it is not possible to possess and use it until the life-tenant dies. That means a senior or baby boomer could generate some cash from selling a remainder interest without jeopardizing their ability to stay in their home. This can be an attractive way for children to offer support. In exchange for providing up-front money to support their parents, their parents’ house comes to them with absolute certainty.

A support mortgage provides a way for seniors to be supported during their lifetime, but whether the senior remains in his or her home depends on how the transaction is structured. With a support mortgage, a senior sells his or her home but takes a mortgage on the property of the person who will provide support. The senior can foreclose upon the mortgage if the mortgage fails to provide support, as outlined in the agreement reached by the parties. Maine law recognizes support mortgages, and the courts tend to interpret them in favor of the senior requiring support. But they are complicated and can pose problems if there are interpersonal problems between the senior and the person providing support.

For those seniors wishing to stay in their homes without turning to family members for assistance, reverse mortgages present an alternative. Broadly speaking, a reverse mortgage is a rising-debt/falling-equity loan through which a homeowner grants a mortgage to a lender in exchange for monthly payments or a credit line based on the home’s value and the senior’s age. Reverse mortgages are available to homeowners who are at least 62 years old, and these mortgages give seniors a way to borrow against the equity in their home without any obligation to repay the loan until a triggering event occurs, such as selling the home or death of the borrower and borrower’s spouse.

There are pluses and minuses to reverse mortgages. On one hand, they can be used to free up equity and create a revenue stream without obligating the senior, family members, or the senior’s estate to repay the obligation. Typically, if the home value does not support the amount borrowed, the bank will be protected by an insurance premium the borrower pays for in the transaction, so family members will be able to take other estate property free from any obligation to repay the debt on the home. On the other hand, because of origination fees – capped at $6,000 for most reverse mortgages – and other transaction costs, reverse mortgages tend to be more attractive to seniors with high-value homes.

With all of these options, there are complicated decisions to be made in order to balance short-term needs for cash against long-term hopes for wealth transfer. Seniors and baby boomers should also consider how income generated from any of these transactions could impact eligibility for Medicaid – which provides health care for Maine’s poorest people – as well as the tax consequences of generating income from a sale of their home. The best decision may be to further explore these options and talk to a trusted advisor about what is right for you.

Andrew C. Helman is an attorney with the Portland-based law firm Bernstein Shur, where he focuses on insolvency-related matters in the Business Restructuring and Insolvency Practice Group. In addition to insolvency-related work, Bernstein Shur has expertise in long-term planning issues for seniors, including tax, wealth transfer, and Medicaid eligibility issues. Helman can be reached by telephone at 228-7147, or by e-mail at ahelman@bernsteinshur.comOriginally published in The Forecaster on March 2, 2011, available at http://www.theforecaster.net/content/pnms-seniorliving-022311.

Long Term Care Insurance: Possible LTC Tax Deductions

Wednesday, March 9th, 2011

Good, informative article from the Macdonald Page (Portland area CPAs and management advisors) newsletter on long term care insurance. They talk about tax deductions, policy options and what’s generally covered. Good first steps if you’re thinking about a long term care insurance policy.

Memory Loss: Middle Age Risks

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

It’s not just the risk of heart attack that should keep middle age adults on their toes about their blood pressure and cholesterol scores: a new study has shown that hypertension and high cholesterol leads to memory loss and cognitive decline in MIDDLE AGE.

middle age memory impairmentThe long-term study tracked 3,500 British men and 1,300 British women, who took tests three times over a ten year period. The end result was that cardiovascular risk in middle age also shows itself in declined mental abilities.

Quoting from an article in Health Day:

Dr. Ralph Sacco, president of the American Heart Association, said an increasing body of research is showing the importance of cardiovascular health in maintaining brain function over a person’s life span.

“The link between cardiovascular health and brain health is becoming increasingly important and recognized,” said Sacco, a professor of neurology, epidemiology and human genetics at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

High blood pressure, diabetes, smoking, high cholesterol and inactivity can contribute to a narrowing of the large blood vessels throughout the body, but also the small blood vessels of the brain, Sacco explained.

Those changes can reduce blood flow, which can “starve the brain of oxygen and lead to changes in thinking, cognition and our mental abilities,” he said.

Sacco goes on to say that the good news is that by controlling your diet, exercise and diabetes risks, and taking meds for hypertension, you may be able to reduce your risk of cognitive decline in middle age. Start healthy and stay healthy!